One Step Forward, Two Steps Back?
I was in the chiropractor's office the other day for a monthly check-in. I have been struggling to rebuild strength after a shoulder injury and I made an offhand comment, ”Ugh, one step forward, two steps back”. And she said “Really?” And it just jarred my thought process enough to think about it, and I said “No, not really. It does feel like a loss of momentum though.” And it struck me that my offhand comment is a phrase that a lot of us grew up saying or hearing, and I would venture to guess that in most cases, it's not true. The loss of momentum is definitely possible, but does it equate to two steps back?
On the drive home my thoughts turned to this idea of hidden beliefs in our language. While these axioms seem to pop up very easily, they can also be a trap keeping us in a holding pattern. They become so ingrained in the story we tell ourselves that we don’t even notice the limitations we have self-imposed. In this case, two steps back is very different from a loss of forward energy. To regain momentum, we start by taking steps from where we are. If we had truly gone backwards, we would have to walk the same path we have already tread.
I think this is something that we really need to pay attention to. Language matters. “I should do…”, “I need to…”, “this has been on the list forever…”, “I just keep putting it off…” These are all related to this “tried and true" axiom and they can reinforce the negative spiral. And as I was reminded while getting my bones realigned, a loss of momentum is NOT two steps back. This is an important distinction to make and worth reviewing our thoughts to see what old stories we are repeating that aren’t actually true. Our words have meaning and intention and that saying can make us feel terrible, like we’ve lost something, or failed in some way.
It is important to remember that it is perfectly normal to lose momentum. It is normal to ebb and flow in our process. It is also normal, healthy even, to have a day of rest. And maybe that turns into two days of rest. It is absolutely okay to feel this way occasionally. But let's make sure that we don’t equate slowing down, or even being stationary, with a big failure. It's not! It's a loss of momentum and we can rebuild that. In shifting our thoughts and waking ourselves up to old stories and the importance of our words vs our intentions, we are better able to pick ourselves up and move forward again.
So I am giving myself permission, and giving you permission if you need it, to let go of this idea that we have gone backwards at all. We are able to start where we are today, and take a step forward followed by another, and another until we get where we are aiming for.
Quick Check-In:
What other common phrases or stories have you heard yourself say over and over again?
How might you reframe them to better reflect your true state of being?